French parents: Non, non and non | The Economist
With a dollop of research and a big helping of anecdotes gleaned from friends, Ms Druckerman identifies two elements to French parenting that set it apart from what she calls the “Anglophone” version. One is that the French teach their children to be patient. Babies are not picked up at the first snuffle from their cots; children are expected to wait until parents have finished a conversation before getting their attention. This, she concludes, stems from a less child-centred approach, in which the adult’s needs remain at least as important as those of the child. Parenting is just one part of a French mother’s life, alongside stilettos and a briefcase, not the high- investment, all-consuming project it has become to over-anxious parents in New York or London.
The other element is that French parents impose a strict cadre, or framework, on their children. While her English-speaking friends tiptoe around their infants’ sensitivities—“do you think that was nice, darling, to throw sand into Ruby’s face?”—their French counterparts are unapologetic about saying non, or ça suffit (that’s enough). Ms Druckerman argues that this framework allows them to give their children more space. She finds herself stunned to watch parents in New York fretfully following their toddlers around the apparatus in a fenced playground; French mothers just sit on a bench and let them get on with it.
Even if this is an oversimplification and needs a lot more research it is an interesting area of inquiry to look into. Could parenting style be a major factor compared to the intruding media society when trying to explaining increase the chaotic situations in schools - as well the increasing number of four letter diagnoses?
Source: economist.com
